Are you an exhausted mom who needs a break? Keep reading because this is my love letter especially for you.
Being a mom is hard. Day in and day out, for better or worse, you show up for your babies. You love them more than words can express and would do anything for them without question. But also, you're exhausted and a little confused. Is this as hard for everyone?
The answer is yes. You are not alone. And this is my love letter to you.
This post is a love letter to the exhausted mom, who feels overwhelmed and alone.
A love letter to the exhausted mom
Dear exhausted mom,
I don't have time to start writing this letter. In fact, I've sat down at my computer no less than ten times to write to you, to share my feelings, but I have been consistently interrupted.
And now that I have found a few minutes of precious time, I don't know how to start. My words are jumbled, my mind jumping from one item on my to-do list to the next, my brain foggy. Why? Because I too am an exhausted mom.
There are moments, days even, when I hold back the tears because I am so overwhelmed, so exhausted, so done that I don't think I can manage to make one more decision.
Motherhood is scary and something that I feel simultaneously built for yet wholly unprepared for. I don't really know what I'm doing. Am I doing it right? Am I doing enough? Am I selfish because I need five minutes—just five minutes— to do something mindless, like scroll through my phone so I don't have to think so much? Is it wrong that I want to scream (but don't) when my three-year-old touches me for the thousandth time on any given day? Is it normal for my brain to never fully stop, even when I'm sleeping? Do other mothers worry this much? Is it just hard for them? Are they just as tired as me?
Because in full honesty...I am an over-touched, overworked, exhausted mom.
Social media: An exhausted mom's kryptonite.
In a culture that thrives on comparison and information overload, it's nearly impossible to not venture down the rabbit hole. Secretly, I envy my mother (and the mothers of previous generations) because although they too were exhausted, they didn't have to contend with the constant self-doubt and comparison that social media brings.
Open any social media app on my phone and you will be bombarded with the latest and greatest sensory bin activities, meal prep ideas, or how-tos on "gentle parenting." Information crashed over us like a tidal wave, and within seconds, the self-doubt and comparison starts.
My inner dialogue at any given point:
It continues like this. And yes, there are TONS of great ideas to be found online—I have used many of them in my own life with my kids! But also, how can I possibly do all of these things? Be all of these things?
The answer is: I can't.
Comparison is the thief of all joy.
I think it's okay (and healthy) to say out loud that what we see online and what others do for their children are examples of what parenting can look like. An idea. A suggestion.
What it shouldn't be is a one-size fits all, do this or you're a failure type mentality. Social media is great...until it isn't.
Did my mother fret endlessly over having multiple sensory bin stations for me and my sisters to play with? No. Did my mother limit screen time (back then, simply called tv time)? No. Did my sisters and I turn out okay? Yes.
And not that this matters but for reference, my sisters and I all have four-year degrees (or higher) and all contribute to society in some meaningful way. So I'd say it all worked out for the best.
The point is, my mom trusted her instincts and relied on advice from her mother. She didn't consult google every 2 seconds or spend hours scouring Pinterest for the best Valentine's Day cards—she bought them from the grocery store and went on doing the important things like living her life and letting us be kids. "
But nowadays that's inadequate. There are standards. A level of expectation.
But what happens when you fall short?
Because you will fall short. Maybe not today, but eventually, you will.
Or even worse, you'll burn out, and reach the end of your rope...what then?
Because motherhood is hard.
{Related Post: 9 Surprising Truths of Motherhood No One Tells You}
How many decisions does a mom make every day?
I recently heard that moms on average make around 35,000 decisions per day. Read that again. Per day.
While I'm not convinced it's quite that high (although, maybe it is 
), we, as moms are calling all of the shots. Not just for our own lives, but our children's as well. Couple that with household and financial decisions, and it's no wonder that we're exhausted. Managing both the physical and mental load of motherhood is not easy and predominantly falls on the mother—no matter how supportive the other partner may be.
This is sometimes referred to as being the "default parent."
Being the default parent is hard.
You know the one. You probably are the one.
The one who prepares snacks and packs the diaper bag. The parent who ensures there are enough diapers and milk. The one who knows clothes sizes, medication lists, and where the favorite pacifier is. The one who kisses "ouchies" and brushes their teeth at bedtime.
Sure you're a super mom and the one your baby wants, but it takes its toll.
It's a double-edged sword—I love being the default parent, but also secretly hate it.
At times it's hard not to be a touch resentful when my partner slides easily into the warm car, as both of my kids simultaneously demand that I be the one to get them each in their car seats while it downpours.
So where does this leave us, friend?
In solidarity, together. Acknowledging that this is hard. It's not just you. You aren't alone.
I see you.
I hear you.
I am you.
And while I don't have the answers to magically make it any easier, from one exhausted mom to another, give yourself grace. Every day won't be perfect and you will make mistakes, but your babies chose you for a reason: because you are the perfect mom for them.
I know you don't hear it enough, but you are doing a great job. Truly.
Okay, mama, Now it's time to shut down your phone and get some sleep and, hopefully, tomorrow you'll be a little less exhausted 
