Are you a soon-to-be-mom and wondering what motherhood is really like? Or maybe you're a new mom and wondering if anyone else feels the same as you? These are the must-know truths of motherhood that every woman can relate to!
Few would argue that being a mother isn't life-changing. As amazing and awesome as motherhood is—and it really is—some days can be downright exhausting.
You might be left wondering if anyone else feels the same as you. Is everyone else this tired? Does anyone else count the minutes until bedtime?
The answer is a resounding: yes. No one and I do really mean no one has it all figured out. No matter what their Instagram says.
Below are nine real truths of motherhood that will make you feel less alone and reassure you, that yes, you are doing a great job!
This post is all about surprising truths of motherhood that all moms can (and will!) relate to.
the 9 most surprising truths of motherhood
1. The amount of laundry is insane.
So. Much. Laundry. Before our son was born I did laundry for my husband and me once a week—on Sundays. It was easy, five loads MAX and I secretly wondered why some women complained about doing laundry.
Oh, how blissfully ignorant I was.
Now, I do laundry every day (or if I’m feeling particularly lazy every other day). From burp cloths to onesies to blankets to bibs to the third outfit change of the day due to spit up…I can never seem to get a handle on the pile of dirty clothes. And to think I was strongly advocating to use cloth diapers 
I have no idea what I was thinking other than I honestly had no clue how much laundry a tiny human produces.
As an aside, I still think cloth diapering is a fantastic idea and I have the utmost respect for parents who can pull it off. For us, disposable diapers were a better fit, although I do cringe every time I chuck one in the trash. Disposable diapers take 500 years to decompose in landfills, and that’s only with adequate sunlight and oxygen. Yikes!
2.) Get ready to run the dishwasher every. day.
While we’re talking about boring household chores…can we take a minute to acknowledge how many dishes there are? Pre-baby we ran our dishwasher every one, two, or three days. Now we run it every night, From bottles to pump parts to pacifiers (that get dropped every five seconds), and it fills up quickly.
You can wash the bottles by hand and then run them through a bottle sterilizer (or boil them). I bought a bottle sterilizer but ended up returning it back for two reasons: it took up too much counter space and our dishwasher has a sanitizing cycle.
And if you think it gets better as they get older? Think again. Now that my kids are in the toddler phase, the bottles are done (hooray!) but they have an endless amount of sippy cups, utensils, plates, and bowls.
My husband and I joke that we're restaurant employees because we are constantly clearing and washing dishes.
Loading the dishwasher will become a new art form. You will re-arrange dishes and pack that dishwasher to max capacity so that no dish gets left behind.
3.) Time management is über important.
Ask my husband and he’ll definitely tell you I”m a procrastinator. I may wait until the last minute, but hey, whatever the task is, it always gets done. Guess what? With a baby, that method ain’t gonna fly. There are so many little things that need to be done all of the time (did you read number one on this list?) that when the baby is asleep or occupied, I get my butt in gear. After the newborn stage when our son started sleeping through the night, we implemented a very structured routine (If you’re a new mom, DO THIS). It helps me to organize and plan my day. While the baby naps, I have chunks of time to clean up the house, prep dinner, fold a load of laundry, etc. Again, this is now that the baby is sleeping through the night. Make no misconceptions: those first few weeks we were eating takeout and our house was unorganized chaos.
4.) The baby weight doesn't just fall right off.
This may be unique to me but it took me almost a full year to get back to my pre-pregnancy weight. This was the case for both of my pregnancies. If I’m honest, I gained a lot of weight during both of my pregnancies (almost 45 pounds each).
I gave myself total freedom to eat whatever I wanted, and while I don’t regret it, I paid the price afterward. A huge part of me was under the (false) assumption that the weight would magically melt right off —seriously, I thought I’d walk out of the hospital 30 pounds. lighter. For some women (celebrities and a few Instagram Moms who I follow) this seems to be the case, but the reality is I worked very hard through diet and exercise to regain (a semblance of ) my old body.
5.) Your body won't be the same.
And while we're at it, know that your body won't be the same. Period.
This is one of the hard truths of motherhood. You changed mentally, your body has changed physically.
Sure the number on the scale may be the exact amount it was pre-baby, but I'm here to tell you, things will be different. Where you carry your weight, the fit of your clothes, your boobs, your belly...it will all feel (and look) a little different.
Though these changes catch us by surprise, they shouldn't. Your body stretched and grew to accommodate an entire person. And think about it: during your pregnancy, your body grew an entire human being and a brand new organ (the placenta.) It's a remarkable thing.
So, yes, it can be annoying and frustrating at times, but give yourself grace. Your body has done a lot for you. Love it for all that it's done and given you.
6.) There are no words for how much you will love your baby.
My husband and I have been together for a loooonnnng time. We were married for almost ten years before we decided to have a baby. TEN. YEARS. I think our families had all but given up hope that’d we’d ever have kids.
The reality is we didn’t want to give up “our time”. Selfish, I know, but we both work hard in our careers and loved spending time together as a couple. We’ve had so many opportunities to pursue our own interests, to travel, to hang out with friends…and we knew that having a baby would shift the focus from “us” to “baby.”
For years we focused on what we’d be giving up and never realized everything that we would gain. I cannot express in words, in syllables, in gestures how much we love our children. It’s a surreal feeling that supersedes all of the so-called “sacrifices” on our part.
Both my husband and I have said we wish would have had our kids sooner. They make our lives fuller, and richer, and bring so much damn joy to our lives that we wonder how we lived without them for so long. It's as though they've always been here, a part of us.
Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m also going to keep it 100% real. There are days when we are tired, stressed, or craving a break —we wouldn’t be human otherwise, but those moments of frustration seemingly melt away the moment my daughter smiles at me from her crib as she wakes or my son softly whispers, "I love you, Mommy" each night.
7. Your kids will adore you.
The love you feel for your children? It goes both ways.
Your kids will adore you. No matter what. You're their mom and, according to them, you hung the damn moon.
This is the best truth of motherhood.
As humans—as moms— we mess up. A lot. So what? You're not screwing up your kids. You're doing the best you can. And I truly believe that YOU are the best mom for your baby.
So stop worrying so much. What's the expression? Don't sweat the small stuff.
If you love your baby, put his or her well-being first, and meet his or her basic needs, you're doing it right! Your kids won't remember all the fancy toys or expensive trips. They will remember you, their mom, splashing in puddles on your morning walk or reading them the same book every night because it was their favorite.
8. Not every day will go as planned.
The first time I was pregnant with my son, I had a very clear vision of what my life would look like.
I would stay home the first year (my former employer allowed up to one year of child-rearing leave), I would breastfeed exclusively, I would still maintain all of my existing friendships, yet somehow find time to meet up with all of my new mom friends at the park, my husband and I still would have our weekly date-nights. Oh yeah, and I planned to write two books while I was "off" from work.
When I look back now, I can't believe how naive I was. I thought I knew, but really, I had no clue.
This is what actually happened:
I supplemented with formula from the very beginning, I lost most of my friendships because the majority of those friends didn't (and still don't) have kids, covid happened so I made no new mom friends, I was very lonely, and although my husband and I did maintain our weekly date nights, they are now almost exclusively at home in our PJs after the kids have been tucked in bed. And those books? Still haven't written them!
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The truth is, it takes time to find a new groove. And when you finally find a routine that works, something changes. Teething. A sleep regression. A growth spurt. You get pregnant again.
Some days you will be the mom of the year. Your kids will nap at exactly the right time. You will prepare organic, non-GMO snacks that they will devour. You and your partner will have a blissful, quiet evening to enjoy each other's company.
And others? You will be exhausted, counting down the minutes until bedtime, and counting it as a win that your toddler ate those few french fries because he has refused everything else on his plate.
It's great to have a plan, and even better to have a routine. Take it from me, I thrive on having a routine and so do my kids.
But some days, you just have to call it and roll with the punches.
It's not just you.
You are not alone.
Everyone has those days.
Some days you're thriving. Other you're barely surviving. Let those never-ending, going-crazy, need ten extra cups of coffee days make the good days that much sweeter.
9. The days are long, but the years are short.
I don't know who said this quote, but they had to have been a mother.
Some days (see number 8!) are long and tough and grueling. Time passes like molasses. You're in it. Getting through the day-to-day. Next thing you know, you look up, and boom! A week has passed. A month. A season. A year.
You'll look back at the million and one photos of your kids on your smartphone and wonder what happened to your cute, chubby little baby. When did he get so tall? When did he stop needing a bib at every meal? And more importantly, can time please slow down?
There are seasons to life. Motherhood, especially when your children are young, can be an exhausting one, with its fair share of trying moments. You may lose yourself a bit in the process, but you will find a deeper, more loving version of yourself. You will discover things about yourself and your children each and every day that will surprise you, shock you, bring you unsurpassed moments of joy, and you will be so thankful that you signed up for this wild ride!
Everything you said is so true, and boy, does it expand with every baby you have. The laundry! The dishes! Yikes! But the love? Can’t beat it. With four kids, life is very busy here but I wouldn’t trade it for the world.
FOUR!!! 🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻 I wholeheartedly agree—I try not to take one second for granted…even though by the end of most days I’m exhausted and a bit crazy 🤪😂🥰